Thursday, December 22, 2011

It's been a long month.
I mean a really long month. I don't know where to begin.
I can't believe that a few weeks ago we were sitting around a table laughing, eating some strange "Turkey" that Anne prepared, thanking the sky for being alive.
I was so glad to have found a place where I belonged, so glad to have friends, and almost, a family.
Thats gone.
I'm so stupid! Forever is a concept imagined by the human mind because we need stability. Nothing lasts, nothing ever lasts.  Especially relationships between people. EVERYONE LEAVES....

Although, before I get to that piece of fun, I should mention, I've taken up religion.
Yes, Alice the atheist, has become "holy".....
If you count the hole in my side where I got stabbed.
We left Kansas sometime last month. Opal had found what she wanted about this girl named, Aggy. She than told us we had to go to Arizona. When we got there we came across this forest (that scared me to pieces) which was of course the place where we had to stop and start digging. Opal and Anne got out shovels. I stood guard.
This is bad decision number 1: Being the least trained, volunteering to stand guard.
Needless to say the monster showed up, tall, and slender as ever. Upon seeing him I immediately did what anyone would do if they looked at certain death, and passed out. Or at least... I thought I had. This might be incorrect knowing that when I woke up, I was in fact not sleeping on a hotel bed, or in a car, or even still in the forest. I was in a hospital bed. With a red and white bandage covering the hole in my side.
I made a poor decision, now look whats happened...
Think of how much money I cost Opal and Anne.
Think of how much danger I put them in.
For how many mistakes they've made, I've made some pretty bad ones too. I was selfish and inconsiderate. I should have known what to do, in the event we were attacked.

This brings me to the real issue.
Opal left, and while I hate that she did, I can't blame her for it.
I held her back. I should have stayed at Hope. I set her up to fall behind, and I set myself up to be disappointed once again, by the fact that nothing is permanent.
I haven't spoken since she left. I shouldn't say anything.
It's worrying Anne. Why am I still burdening Anne?   

On another note, it's been a little over a week since Opal left. Anne hasn't decided if we're going after her or not yet. We went back to Kansas so we would have a place too stay while she decided. We will have to leave again soon. I think Anne is going to want to find Opal. I don't, if I were Opal, and I had Anne and Alice looking for me.
I would run as far as I can.

I'm sorry,

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Doesn't Make the World go Round

Dear You,

What makes people special? What makes someone different enough to be worried about and not placed in just another category with others like the? It seems, that no matter what you do theres always someone else doing the exact same thing. Someone else that has that talent, or philosophy that you've always thought made you special. I've been thinking alot about the fact that this monster has probably killed alot of people over the years. This is a community I'm a part of, and I had no clue. When people die the world keeps spinning. No one's death makes the world stop. Especially because even if you died, someone else could take your place. It makes it seem really pointless too run. The way I think of it is that, if you make a impression on a person. Someone who you've influenced. Someone who notices how hard you've tried to make a mark on the world. Thats about as good as your going too get. That should be the ultimate goal. Your not special in the grand scheme of things, but you can be special to one person.

Thats my random thought of the day, I figured I haven't made a post like that in a while so I would start this post with it.

Just too keep you posted, I figured I would inform you that I met Opal's old friend Anne, who is very nice. Shes letting us stay at her house which is pretty fun, although when I first met her I hid under a couch. I think couches should be a form of protection for the armies, they really are very helpful. Opal seems disagree, and says we need too work on that in our one on one self defense classes. Speaking of Opal I noticed shes been really sick lately. With being sick and having a broken arm, shes been in pretty bad shape. Aside from that though, things haven't been bad latley, it's been... calm which is nice.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

On My Way

I am no longer confused.

One might call it an intervention. Having Elaine, Micheal, and Opal standing in my previously vacant room, explaining to me the horrors that we now shared in life. Everything seemed to come one after another, shocking. It felt like a video game. You meet people set up to help you along the way, on your journey to the ultimate prize. Only here the consequences of failing are real. On my journey, I've so far acquired three items, that will help me out greatly.

1. Knowledge. Mainly about proxies (proxy's), people that kill other people while under the influence of the monster (that I mentioned in earlier posts), and their experiences being them. Apparently everyone can be a proxy, and kill, and recover, and be forgiven. When my "family" had been attacked, it had been by a proxy. Also, the reason I've been in solitary confinement is because Opal was a proxy and I came with her. She supposedly went crazy, and hit people with shovels. While I don't know the entire story, it defiantly explains why we were in locked rooms away from the rest of the people. I would never let us out, even if I knew I was innocent. Also, during the "overload Alice" session, they all explained how things would most likley work from now on. I will be stalked and psycologically tourtured, and try really hard not to go crazy. Than, the monster will kill me. For while I'm running, clinging to sanity, I was given item number two.

2. Michaels Notebook. A jumbled mess of scribbles and tips for basic survival. It's kind of hard too read, but from what I've gotten so far, it explains more about the monster. The symbols scribbled every ware, the panic in the writing, it's all part of who the monster is, and the effects it has on the minds of the people its after. Opal's been helping me decifer, and giving me 'add on' tips. "Don't do this!" "Make sure you don't forget.." I'm so lucky to still have her around. Which brings me to item number three

3. A trip to Kansas. Opal was going to leave me at hope. She was going to inform me of everything and leave, so I would be there alone in a new situation that I knew her the best in. I was strangley not willing to go with this plan, especially after being told I should never stay in one place for a long period of time, no matter where I am. Anyway, Opal has a broken arm, and probably shouldn't be driving around the country alone. Theres no way she could defend herself against proxys (proxies?).

So here I am with Opal, on the way to her old house in Kansas. The road outside is long and the gray asphalt seems to compliment to emerald of the grass as we drive by. The car trip gives me time to look over the notebook, and spend hours deciphering it. The whole idea of all thats happening is really... scary, but right now I'm just glad to be out and wandering.

Until next time,

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Begnning Answers

So, Opal drove us too whats called a safe house, named Hope. Thats the bottom line. Theres so much to explain I don't even know where too start. The person who runs it is called Elaine. Theres also someone named Micheal. So far they are the only people I've met aside from Opal, whose been locked in the room next too me. Note, I said locked. Opal and I are locked in our rooms for reasons I don't understand yet. We had connecting bathrooms, but one night I heard a large amount of screaming and woke up too a newly opened bathroom, and having the connecting one locked. Before they locked it though I talked to Opal. When I had gotten too her room she was talking to Micheal, and seemed to be ignoring my questions. I stayed calm until Micheal left, than I was tired of not knowing anything.

I wanted to know why we were here, who had been standing at my former house, and why we were being treated like convicts. Those were only my preliminary questions. Everything had come out so fast though when I was trying to speak to Opal, she seemed stunned. Even though she only answered one question, it was enough for me too enjoy my solitary confinement in order to use it to plot things out. She told me who the man was that was standing by my former house. This is my conclusion of what she said (It was really confusing) after writing it all down and straightening it all out.. He is apparently a monster, one who killed my parents. He infects peoples mind, and tourments them. Hes a stalker and he stalks everyone in the safe house. The safe house is a place for people stalked by him too be safe. (Which would explain why it's called a safe house)

So far this is all I know, I haven't been able to talk to anyone lately, they all seem like they have something to say, but I'm afraid to ask what. I need too find out more, maybe I'll ask next time they bring me my food. Why can they walk around freely?

Trying to be less confused,

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I'm on the Run?

So I'm not complaining, yet. Really, my situation isn't really that bad right? Well, everything would be ok, if people hadn't died. Especially people who had been so kind too me. It was really a normal day, the girl from the well was still with us (Opal) and I felt like she was starting to actually enjoy staying with me. "Mom" had picked me up from school, and we had driven home. I was in my room doing homework when the doorbell rang. I opened the door a crack, trying to hide, thinking it was a social worker coming to take me away again (I'm a foster kid, did I mention that before?). I really liked that place too. Unfortunately the man at the door, had no intention of trying to find me a everlasting home. He was holding the father, dead. I slammed the door and just listened to him kill the mother. From that point on everything was a blur. I was high on adrenaline. I remember busting in, holding the baby, Opal appearing with her shovel (yes, that seems to be her weapon of choice) and myself leaving. Once I was outside the house, with the family baby. Things became a little clearer. I could hear the pang of the metal shovel cracking against the head of the man. Than Opal was out of the house telling me to get in the car. We were almost out of the driveway when I made my stupidest move yet. I jumped out of the car.

Moving around alot makes it easy for you to pack lite, but no matter what I needed my camera. I was in and out of the house as quickly as possible. Opal still screamed at me. As I got into the car for a very long drive, I noticed someone standing by my former house. He was tall, and exteremly skinny. He seemed almost nonhuman. Opal didn't explain much but I concluded that he stalks a whole community of people, and I'm apart of it. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

On another note, my life just got a whole lot more busy and interesting. I'll try and record it on here, and still post what I usually do every once and a while.

Anyway, thanks for listening

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Girl in the Well

Dear You,

Have you ever found someone in a well? I now have. It's like finding a hidden treasure. One minute you see some stuff, the next your grabbing a ladder, than your covering the shivering girl with blankets and sledding her too your house. I'm very lucky though... when she woke up she seemed to be the kind of person I would actually enjoy. While I'm not sure if the feelings mutual, I'm glad shes around. I could have pulled up a tattoo artist, or someone much worse. I am worried about her though. She seems moody, in an older sister kind of way. One minute shes talking calmly, the next she is silent, or freaking out. She asks alot about me, but answers vaguely about herself. Yet some reason I'm still drawn too her. She seems to have alot to say and I want to hear it.
The quest for knowledge is never ending.

(This post is kind of short and awkward, I'll post something more thought out when I learn more.)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

You Made A Hole In the Paper

Dear Him,

I must wonder are you leaving because you have to? or are you running away?
I know your not the brightest, but I thought you knew,
Turning to a new page doesn't mean you can forget the entire book.
No matter how hard you cry and stomp your feet, the past won't go away.
I'm sorry,
You made your choice.
Have you ever questioned why we don't have the power to erase memories?
It's because they make you stronger. The mistakes you've made, the things you've done right, that you turned wrong.....
These things aren't trying to hurt you, so stop trying to get rid of them, your wasting your time.
I wish I could warn you....
If you run away... your still as week as you are now. You'll never learn... you'll only regret it....
I know you don't need another regret. I know you more than you think I do.
It's too late now to tell you not to leave.
It's going to happen.
We're half way through your last semester here.
But..... there's still time to let you know. you can leave without regret.
Apologize too those you've hurt.
Take responsibility. It's your fault too
Live with the pages you've written.
Unblock your ears, open your eyes
oh.. and
don't forget too say Goodbye